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GemLover
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:54 am

Aha! Yes, definitely I think that is at least one reason for your detour Goth! Just like my detour from my own studies - the thing that was really RIGHT for me to study was not available to me all those years ago! Back then it was really all about film studies, and although I enjoyed film studies it wasn't my true passion... I am a media person... and now things have opened up that I can study EXACTLY what I want... the right supervisor for my topic is now there for me to oversee what I'm doing... he specialises in popular media and rock music... so it all fits into place at the right time. I think this is what will happen for you as well. Great point about the psychic vision too - I hadn't realised that. I am getting more 'flashes' of things now than I've had in a while, and then got a bit weirded out when I was sending reiki to my sister last night because when I was doing it I felt something 'switch' and suddenly my vision (well, I had my eyes closed) was at the place where my third eye is - I wasn't getting any images BUT I felt as though I was looking at a blank screen where the images would play. Normally if I get a vision it just flashes in spontaneously - but this was like showing me 'here is the screen where you see these things'. tongue It was kinda weird but I am always a bit weirded by new things to begin with. blu wink Your trances sound so intense... wow!!! no way

Hmm. The other thing is that although I'm happy about what I'm going to do in the future, I am having feelings of some kind of mundane stuck-ness in the present. The bills have not started to come flooding in yet but they will... I'm not as worried now but there is still a vague uncertainty for me about that seeing as I still haven't found another job for supplementary income. I've applied for what must be at least 20 jobs now, including temping, and the process is starting to tire me. I'm getting sick of it, feeling vaguely switched off, keep staring into space and I'm sleeping late every morning and then I lie there with no motivation to get out of bed. I wouldn't say I'm feeling depressed, but there is a definitely a feeling of not having much spark for the day ahead, and feeling tired and lazy. It's hard to pull myself out of that feeling.
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:56 am

This just jumped out at me SO clearly. As I was about to leave this site, my eye went to the bottom of the home page and I saw this:

Quote :
You are disconnected.

That is the feeling I was just trying to describe!!!! Shocked
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:15 am

WELL , WELL ,

I think this post says it ALL and raps it ALL UP in a nutshell. You think clap

RIDING THE DRAGON

Cosmic Weather Report:
Riding the Dragon from Air to Earth

Putney, Vermont: August 2009

This month the Dragon's Head (North Lunar Node) enters Capricorn after a year-and-a-half moving through Aquarius. The Sign the Dragon's Head passes through indicates the opening for collective evolution-it points the way forward for our species. We've been experiencing an airy Aquarian porthole in evolution, which means a great merging is going on. Mental currents are flashing through the shared psychic space like strands of programming code. The inside story of our race is changing. Old myths rise up and die to be born again in some new fashion.


Aquarius is the Sign of mixing and matching. Elements that had been separate suddenly find themselves together-and don't always like it or know what to do about it. Things become very mergy. Recent cosmic weather surveys reveal a hodgepodge of violent ups and downs. One minute you're riding a high, then plummeting to a sudden trough. Who knows what to think?

This volatile collective environment can seem dangerous and crazy. But if we step back and view it from a greater perspective it can restore balance to our species. Our culture in recent years became so twisted that a great shake-up is needed to untwist. The rupture of life structures that formerly provided security is not such a bad thing, when you begin to glimpse the new possibilities emerging on the other side.

In the next few weeks as the Dragon finalizes its passage through Aquarius, the theme of merging will become more pronounced. Whatever families, groups, pods you belong to are being blasted by growth rays.
The high side of this is the feeling that you're not in it alone, you have support, you're part of an entity which itself is part of a greater entity, and the interconnectedness of these elements is being heightened. The down side is that it can be exhausting to feel pushed and pulled by forces beyond your control. Life doesn't seem to stay put anymore like it used to!

This rigorous motion is an evolutionary phase of accelerated development, a cleansing and purging action. We're all together in the rinse cycle. Dirt flies by, what goes 'round comes 'round, feelings, thoughts, visions and monsters crop up like never before because our species has agreed to move beyond its former limits. We're being held to task. This is definitely not life as usual on Planet Earth, but a sweeping curve in species evolution. We've achieved warp speed, and many things are being left behind.

Air signs are fast. Air is the element of the mind. Thought is instantaneous.
The same surging wave of transformation that's gripping the world enables us to release old thought patterns, stuck ideas that outlived their usefulness. This shake-up effects everything across the boards. It's not limited to one group of people, one country or society, but mass humanity. This is the sign of a great clearing.

When the Dragon swoops into Capricorn in late August, the collective way forward shifts from air to earth. This is good news for the part of you that feels like everything's spinning and you've been running around like a lunatic. Aquarius is a spinning centrifuge. Capricorn is the reestablishment of a new world.

Capricorn is a buckle-down Sign, which is going, in the next year-and-a-half, to put our ideas to the test. We're moving from idea to embodiment. From crazy merging and the surging of ideas, to hard and fast realities that must be grasped as building blocks of a new society.

When tens of thousands of people all over the world start dreaming a new dream, the ignorance and apathy that have held our species back dissolve in the light of fierce new radiance rising from the soul. We lose the tight security of former identities. We gain a whole new chance for our species.


Who are you really? What are you here to do? How much longer are you going to wait?

Riding the Dragon sounds really FUN to me cheers

You GO Ladies !! !! clap clap clap mr green
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:44 am

The Wow Factor
Thursday August 6, 2009

This is a day to be startled by deja vu or tingly serendipity. Of course, it happens when we're not looking for it. But the Moon is in alert Aquarius all day, and that wakefulness is set in quick motion by a harmonious trine to Mars in Gemini. On top of that, the potency of the Full Moon is broadcast via the imagination, with alignments to both Jupiter and Neptune. It's a day just right for the random miracle, the X-factor, divine intervention....all those things that hint at a higher cosmic orchestration in play.

In his book, Pronoia, Rob Brezsny writes, "When we behold astonishing synchronicities and numinous breakthroughs that seem to violate natural law, we're willing to consider the possibility that our understanding of natural law is too narrow." Since we're talking about Aquarius here, today's miracle is a shared one, like a spontaneous awakening of a whole bunch of people. Your good intentions hit the web out there, and set off a series of lucky breaks. You can see that life is a kind of experiment, and often what others want lines up with what you want.

Aquarius is the sign of the group mind or "consciousness." Today's aspects with the Moon at her peak favor spreading positive rumors, and strange visions of the imagination. The quality of your thoughts ripples out, like that old Breck shampoo commercial, "I told two friends, and she told two friends, and so on and so on and so on...." Each of us has a hand in designing the atmosphere by what we're putting out. It's a great day for collective visioning, brainstorming at work, or following your thread of inspiration wherever it leads. The miracles today (or anytime) can pierce through apathy or hopelessness, give us that charge we need to believe in our own power to shape things. I'll end with this quote from Paulo Coelho, from The Alchemist, "Know what you want and all the universe conspires to help you achieve it."
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:47 am

Solane Star wrote:
The Wow Factor

I'll end with this quote from Paulo Coelho, from The Alchemist, "Know what you want and all the universe conspires to help you achieve it."

WOW !! !! cheers WOW !! !!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:53 am

Thanks Solane - that does sum up what I believe is happening. We are transitioning into a new way of life and a major part of that is being happy and fulfilled. That means out with the things that no longer bring us these experiences and in with what authentically expresses who we are. Sometimes we take steps backwards but if we remain aware we quickly right ourselves and get back on the path to happiness again. The Universe is our eternal cheer squad and provider. It feels so good to have such a consistent backing team working with us to help manifest the reality of our dreams. All we have to do is be clear about what it is we are creating so it can support us in the best possible way. happy hour

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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:34 am

Yessss....

cheers


Even as I continue to apply for jobs to get me through the rest of this year and the more I'm starting to go 'uh oh' again about not being able to pay my bills (I've been getting by for the past month only by not actually paying bills, and I'm gonna have to do it soon)... I'm still getting positive signs about what I plan to do in the future. Just the day before yesterday I was tidying out my desk drawers - making room in my desk for a future in study! - when I came across a business card from The Hatter's Cafe in Katoomba. I'd saved it from our trip there last January. When I saw it I instantly recognised the logo (which is a black teacup and saucer that put together look like a top hat, with strobe lights shining across it) to have a direct connection to MB! He was very often pictured in a top hat around 1972, and he'd originally worn it in his movie in a tea party scene where he was a 'Mad Hatter' character. Aha aha aha!! I've propped it up on my desk as a reminder of my goals to write my thesis about MB and to remind me that the universe is supporting me. Within minutes after that, I was on Facebook and there was an udpate that my friend's band had uploaded a new song... the song is called 'The Mad Hatter Comes to Life'. idea Aaaaah!!!! Another confirmation, definitely! That day at the library, I had also been heading to the spiritual section - where I usually get books from - and right out front of the spiritual section on the display was the unlikely book choice of a title called 'Wham Bam Thank You Glam' - which I picked up and realised was FULL of MB references! The chapter titles are even named after some of his songs. The book gives a bit of cultural context to the glam scene, which I knew instantly would be a helpful kickstart to my thesis topic - it was like the book was out there on the display just for me, so I've taken it out and it's sitting on the table ready to be raided for info. lol. So yes... I'm now feeling very confident that I AM on the right path for me.

I think I have a very good chance of securing some work from November to January, but still need to get something that will keep me above water for the next 12 weeks or so... I've advertised myself on my sister's Drama School website as being an after-school tutor/homework supervisor, so I'm hoping that maybe this will be the answer!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:47 am

Here... if you shift your perspective from the idea of a 'teacup', can you see the resemblance to a top hat??



And here is the tea party/Mad Hatter scene from Marc's movie:



Great fun - it never fails to make me smile!

Again it's the link with movies (the strobe lights, the fact that he's wearing the top hat IN a movie) that links back to my vision from a few months ago when he appeared and was holding up the film reel. He was also wearing this exact black outfit from the movie! I love it how everything is continuing to link up!! (I was getting a lot of communication loud and clear from MB on that Sydney trip, as well - but I never connected The Hatter's Cafe with him at the time!)...

Ah, and another thing I just remembered. Last night a couple of lines from Marc's song 'Groove A Little' came into my head. It's not a song I've listened to very much so I wasn't familiar with the words - so it came to me as kind of a "groove a little now, da da da da da da, I'll show you how". I thought it must have some meaning, but then I forgot to look it up. So I just looked it up now and these are the words:

Quote :
To groove is to lubricate your imagination

You can call somebody captain
Under pressure you can flip
You can be a rock commando
But you can't pilot the ship

Groove a little baby, groove a little now
Groove a little baby, you might know what you want

But I'll show you how


You can trip the light fantastic
Become a space grotesque
You can fossilize your thought dreams
Behind a rusty desk

You might know what you want
But I'll show you how

You can read the works of Shakespeare
In the Academy of Life
You can punk the skunks of freedom
With your jeweled Etruscan knife

Groove a little baby, groove a little now
Groove a little baby, you might know what you want

But I'll show you how

I can really relate to this! Especially the part about fossilising my thought dreams behind a rusty desk - it reminds me of me at work doing a job I don't enjoy... And the specific lines that had come into my head yesterday (I've highlighted them in bold) seem to be encouraging me to trust in the guidance that is coming to me. I'd been stressing a bit about exactly how to write my topic, but as with that book coming my way in the library, it seems like the resources I need to form my ideas properly will come my way if I stay open to the messages and synchronicities around me, and use my imagination... !!!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Fri Aug 14, 2009 7:20 am

Sounds like you are tapping into your inner knowing really well Gem - don't ask how something will come about, believe that it will and let the universe provide. Let go of doubt and it will sort itself out.

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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:28 am

Yes, exactly!!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:19 pm

Still no work has shown up... I have huge overdue bills that I haven't been able to pay as yet, food has been running very low and we've only been able to eat every day because of my mum and two friends giving us little bits of food several times a week. It does really show you who the most thoughtful people are and who's willing to go out of their way to offer help. Those are the people who really care... and you know what, all of them are the ones who've been extremely poor themselves. I cooked for my friend when she had no money and now she's the one donating food to me! And my ex is giving me leftovers from the cafe where he works. I've applied for so many jobs now it's ridiculous, and only gotten one interview which the people never even bothered to contact me about afterwards to let me know either way; and there is a massive shortage of jobs that Mr Gem can even apply for in the first place! He just applied for a museum one which he may have a chance at, and I so have my fingers crossed that he'll get it. Meanwhile I'm applying for mostly part-time clothing retail jobs, but only the ones where I know I can get away with my own personal wardrobe! ie menswear stores like Tarocash and Hallensteins, because I can wear my black 3/4 pants and I do have about 5 different black tops and/or dresses that I'll be able to get away with. Any other stores like Glassons or Dotti, I don't have a chance because I wouldn't match their image day in and day out. hmm I think I can get away with 2 days a week at Principals just with my black clothes, so I'm going there to intro myself to the manager tomorrow. Meanwhile, all of this time and effort going into job applications is taking time away from my MA and scholarship applications and I'm feeling exhausted... and kind of mad at all the 'powers that be'/employers for their arrogant attitudes....
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sun Sep 06, 2009 3:12 am

Today makes exactly one year that I have been unemployed. Hubby is still on disability for now. From different sites and forums, I see people losing hope. Both college educated and lesser educated people cannot find jobs. We have older folks who cannot afford to retire that are still in the workforce, people who keep two jobs just to keep their heads above water, illegal immigrants by the millions who are taking jobs etc. People are getting angry, frustrated and losing hope.

Because we have the money in the bank for now, we are ok, but my unemployment wages won't last much longer. We have exhausted most of our retirement funds. So much for being able to retire in the future. Sigh...Gem, if you can, try to get help from welfare for now. It is not your fault that you are in the situation you are in, and they are there for people who need it. We are in this together with millions of other people and it is a tough road. **Hugs**
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:12 am

I am really sorry you guys are feeling so disheartened. I wish I had something inspiring to say but I know that my words are only my reality and of not much use to anybody else. My solution was to divorce the unacceptable reality that has become the industrialized world. Quite simply, I reject it and it's values. My worth goes beyond money and I refuse to be a slave to a system that tells me whether I am 'good enough' by it's standards to be rich or poor, supported or ignored, accepted or discarded. A strange thought just occurred to me - money is based on a numerical system just as existence itself can be reduced to mathematical equations by scientists...hmm, what a connection!

I found hope by detaching from life in the insane lane. Ironically, I am probably considered more crazy now than before but who cares? Not me, and since I have taken charge of creating my own reality my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. I feel a sense of freedom and inspiration removing myself from fear. It was like taking a heavy load off my shoulders and seeing things clearly for the first time in forever. I can't believe how upset I was getting over not having money! Worse still, with my focus on constantly chasing after what I cal 'faux wealth' I was missing out on the things I truly valued about my life. I started writing again...I've written thousands of pages in a few short weeks and have felt so fulfilled and happy that I started appreciating other things that had fallen by the wayside in my list of priorities...how much my children have grown and changed...the way my new puppy has bonded with us all and become part of the family...the way the grass and trees are changing from winter browns to spring greens...my daughter's first homegrown cob of corn and all the care she took to nurture it to maturity ready to eat! WOW! Now these are things I would rather fill my days and mind with than how many coins are in my purse or whether I can cover the bills this week. So what if I don't pay? The money hungry scavengers will just keep coming - that is a given, but how I react or don't react - now that is within my power! I have creditors ringing me hassling me over outstanding bills and they ask if I can pay today and I say no. They give me their standard threats etc (that's their job, I accept that) and then I politely tell them what I will pay. If they say it is unacceptable, then I reply that what I offered is all they will get because let's face it - it is the law that so long as you pay something regularly, they cannot take further action. So long as you show a willingness to meet your obligations, then they will get off your back.

Another funny thought: if we are creatures of free will, why are we so willing to let others control us? Who would choose to live like this, constantly a slave to dollars and cents? It makes no sense to me. That's why I am happy to just be crazy loco happy hour

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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:59 am

I wonder if the law is the same in NZ, that as long as you pay something they can't take any further action? Your attitude is so good... I tried to keep that up, and have had positivity about finding new work too, but I think it's the rejections that I know in many cases are not exactly ethical that are getting my goat. eg jobs being given to internal staff and no consideration being given to the candidates who are applying from outside. I KNOW that has been the situation in at least a couple of cases - with qualified people, not just myself but other people I know, not even being interviewed. It's a waste of our time - when you're spending most of your day searching for and applying for jobs, you don't want your efforts to be wasted on jobs that in effect don't even exist for you. I've decided that I do want to be in a job that I will enjoy; partly, having worked at home by myself for the past 5 years, it's a social thing... meeting new people and interacting. Otherwise I'm around people who are depressed because they've spent so much time at home during the day self-analysing and having negative thoughts; it seems to be rampant in my town among my age group of people who are on the dole or sickness benefits. There's a feeling of being stuck in a dreary town with nothing to do except drink and take drugs and sleep around, and while those people are part of my social circle anyway, I don't want that to be my ONLY circle; I need to be around other people who are positive and motivated. I think, for some reason, it's part of my journey to overcome my situation rather than to merge with it or even to find the positives in it. I do see the positives though. But all signs seem to be driving me towards beating the situation... there are synchronicities popping up everywhere, like a book that I found at the library yesterday about a woman who after losing her job did the same thing as me and she won, finding the work that made her happy. I've realised that even my anger towards the employers who are fobbing me off is like an internal propellor driving me forwards...

Nightie I'm sorry that you're feeling bad also though. One thing is, you're incredibly lucky to still have money in the bank - I wish I had that luxury. You make jewellery, right? Do you sell it? Could you make a rewarding home-based business out of it?

Thanks for the suggestion about welfare - but it sucks here... it wouldn't be worth my while. Mr Gem and I would have to go on a 'couple's benefit', which is much less than an individual benefit, and then because we do have extra income it would be cut back anyway, leaving us no better off than before. I'm currently earning as much as I would receive on an individual benefit, so I'm kind of in a "no-man's zone" ... I did get some news that I may do a few hours a week for one place, which might increase when they have more cash, so that will be something anyway!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:46 pm

The only reason I have money in the bank is because of my accident being hit by a minivan. I am grateful for the money, but I have to suffer the rest of my life for it in pain. Oh well, can't have everything. I do make jewelry but I won't sell it until my unemployment benefits run out. I am loving my freedom for as long as it can last. I am able to spend more time with my family. my Mom has been lonely and depressed since my Dad passed away so it has helped that I have been around.

I have been enjoying nature, reading a lot, and am happy about being 'free' for the time being.

I wish us all well. huggz
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:49 pm

Oh, sorry... I didn't realise that's where your money came from. sad But I do agree it is great to be free, I loved that feeling in the past but I just can't rest right now. There are a million benefits to not working though, like all the great things both you and Goth have mentioned. But for me, it means I'm around people who are depressed instead of people who inspire me - in my age group, in this particular town, there's a depressing feeling that is prevalent and it doesn't do me good overall. Then I compare that to how I felt today - I attended a departmental meeting at uni, and I felt accepted and encouraged, and most of all, both comfortable and inspired. It's where I need to be, and I'll be counting down to January...
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:36 am

When you are around depressed people, try to take off to a library, go for a walk, stop for a cup of coffee somewhere by yourself... Whatever it takes to get some time for yourself. You have something to look forward to with uni, so that is something. sun

Seems we are done with the heat and humidity so I will be more inspired to make jewelry again. I have my oldest brother here from North Carolina visiting, as well as Mom's birthday party on Sunday at a historical restaurant. Next month my nephew and his wife (with their baby girl who I havn't met yet) are coming for a visit on Columbus Day weekend. The family has planned a brunch at a nice restaurant for when they come. So the months ahead will be busy and pleasant.
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:19 am

Fill up your tank

“How do we keep our inner fire alive? Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the positives in our life – and a commitment to action. Every day, it’s important to ask and answer these questions: ‘What’s good in my life?’ and ‘What needs to be done?’”

-- Nathaniel Branden

I have found there’s a very different quality to my action when it springs from a sense of abundance as opposed to a feeling of being impoverished.

When I sense I’m not good enough or that I don’t have enough, I feel driven to be better and to have more. Whatever I do takes effort – there’s an element of struggle involved. And this makes sense because there’s no fuel – I’m working on an empty tank.

When I’m feeling abundant, I act out of my own inspiration. I’m rich and full and so the energy flows naturally. This action at times feels almost effortless.

It's important to remember that we don't need money to be abundant. All we need is appreciation of all that we have.

“ ...what I focus on in life is what I get. And if I concentrate on how bad I am or how wrong I am or how inadequate I am, if I concentrate on what I can’t do and how there’s not enough time in which to do it, isn’t that what I get every time? And when I think about how powerful I am, and when I think about what I have left to contribute, and when I think about the difference I can make on this planet, then that’s what I get. You see, I recognize that it’s not what happens to you; it’s what you do about it.”

-- W. Mitchell
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:30 am

Night Star how BE-auti-FULLY Pleasant is that, you getting to meet ONE for the first time (Little Bundle of JOY) little Baby Girl blu wink and to BE able to see so many other family members, with much celebrating and JOY-ous events. NICE !! !! pinkheart grouphug pinkheart kiss
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:43 am

Great news Nighty cheers Enjoy the family interactions.

One thing I have realised about the periods of uncertainty in my life and that is they always lead to something much clearer in the end. We get hooked up on wanting to know what that is but if we can trust our inner knowing everything turns out alright. I have to wonder if we really are as badly off as we think or is it simply that we have become conditioned to needing to control everything to provide what we call security? Life is an adventure but all the responsibilities associated with money have made it a chore or in some cases a burden. Where's the fun in that?

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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:57 pm

Well a lot of good has come out of my situation, as I've said. Firstly it's shown me exactly who is willing to offer me help in one way or another, even if it's just someone to talk to, and who has not even thought of it; ie it's highlighted who my real friends are. Secondly, it's forced me to break out of a job that in many ways was a dead end for me - ie I was not progressing on a personal level. Thirdly it's gotten me on track with returning to do my MA, which I think will make me very happy next year, AND even just my minor steps in preparation for it have led me to meet new and interesting people who are likeminded. I feel that this whole thing is going to emerge as a period of personal wellbeing. I've gotten a couple of bits of casual work, sold stuff, etc, that has been helping me to stay outta trouble with debt collectors, and now, opportunities for enjoyable work are starting to open up and I believe I will have something very soon. Plus I've met with extremely positive people recently, in amazingly synchronistic moments... feathers have been in my path constantly, white ones and bright ones too... many of them. Also, I've noted recently that other people are starting to come out of some very bad patches in their life; I think things are changing for a lot of people and it's all do with moving on to better things.
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:31 pm

There's hope!

“No matter how painful our early experiences were, our Essence cannot be harmed. Our Essence is waiting for the opportunity to reveal itself. In a very true sense, we are waiting for the opportunity to become ourselves. Our spirit is yearning to break free, to express itself ...

“And yet, ironically, we always fear and resist opening to that which is most real in us. When we trust in the process and give ourselves over to it, however, our true nature comes forth. The result is real integrity, love, authenticity, creativity, understanding, guidance, joy, power, and serenity—all of the qualities we are forever demanding that personality supply.”

-- Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson



clap cheers RIGHT ON GEMLOVER !! !!

Get it On

Bang a Song

Get it On

thumup pinkheart
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Mon Sep 21, 2009 11:08 pm

Happy to hear things are improving Gem.

I do believe some of the rough patches people have been going through is due to the influence of the planets or external energies beaming onto this planet. I have taken to staring at the stars at 2 in the morning and absorbing energising light. I feel like I am home and that home is inside me not up in the stars like I used to feel. So much has been happening in my life both good and bad, but each experience has shown me more of who I am. For that I am grateful. And the more I feel that way, the more of reality has revealed itself to me from coloured energies to full coloured apparitions to new guides from other dimensions to the ability to channel and be of service as a medium.

Money? It is just another form of energy. I believe with all my heart that energy is limitless so I no longer concern myself with material thoughts. I also have found that with this shift, I now fully value myself instead of under-value myself and I am ready to face the outside world again. It has been a long and intense journey to get to where I am, but the arrival was worth it.

I am writing! Writing so much and such incredibly eclectic styles and pieces. I have changed back to a science degree in psychology and for light entertainment I am reading physics books. My inner child is feeling safe and loved, and all my selves are happy at last. Life is good. Love is all. And I do know!!! LOL>hopefully in the years to come, I can come up with the right words to bring peace of mind to others in regards to the validity of existence beyond the material. Until then dear friends, keep believing in yourself and cherish who you are. Your value is beyond comparison.

luv

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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:37 am

Gosh, sooo inspiring, Solane and Goth! clap lol Solane, "Get it on" is so true... I am "Getting in on" in my life now! cheesygrin And there is a really big sense of 'opening up', like the more I follow what my true self and inner child wants, the more good things are starting to flow back to me. I should hopefully have a job interview lined up soon, for something that is going to be FUN for me... and when I was having a look in the crystal shop yesterday and was telling the man that I haven't purchased any crystals from him lately because I've been searching for a job, he told me "I think you'll be lucky within the next week". I think he could be right, and I am just going to stay open to whatever that might be. I do want to be doing something that's fun and fulfilling for me.

Also, I had been wearing my labradorite pendant for quite a while now - it provides support during times of upheaval and change - but suddenly I feel like it's served it's purpose for the time being and I am being drawn to rose quartz instead. I don't have one that I can wear, but I do have a rough stone and a couple of smaller tumbled ones. I'm feeling like I want to start wearing a rose quartz on a pendant so it will be close to me all day, and maybe this is to do with me feeling more opened up and happy because of tapping into what it is that I really love - and I think maybe, rose quartz will support me in that process and that's why I'm being drawn to it.

It sounds like everyone is finding more of themselves these days and starting to become happier. idea
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PostSubject: Re: I don't know anymore.   Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:26 pm

The crystal man was right! I got the exact job that I wanted. Not any of the jobs I had applied for a long time ago out of the sense of needing to just get ANY job - but the only one I really wanted. So I am happy about that area of my life now!
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