Where is everyone?

Good luck Kat with your schooling! And to you Moonie with your business ventures.

Mom was in and out of the hospital again in February. She had a mild stroke. She is home and fine for now. They had to put her back on a blood thinner and that is all they can do. I know she won't be around forever and it saddens me that she is so old. I already lost my Dad.

Still without a job after a year and a half. Sometimes I'm fine and other times I tend to withdraw into myself. I have been so tired the last couple of days. I realized that for years I have been running back and forth to the hospital for my Dad when he was alive, for my Mom and for my husband. I can't tell you how many times I have had to jump out of bed in the middle of night for an emergency with one of my parents. Then I look after whichever one is at home to make sure they are eating and are ok and to give my support. That was mostly when I had a full time job. I was always exhausted after working all day, visiting at the hospital, checking on the other parent etc.

Also been through hell and back with hubby coming close to death a number of times, having 4 operations in two years, and losing a limb. I think everything has just caught up to me. We found a medical plan that accepted us even though we have pre-existing conditions. It will cost us quite a bit out of pocket though. At least we have something.

Kinda feels like the earth beneath my feet isn't safe and will crumble.

Going to make some jewelry to make me feel better. I love you all and am still here for anyone for any reason. I hope you all know that. Spring is near and I plan on spending a lot of time outside when the weather is nice.

I'm sorry to hear you're having so much strain put on you, Nighty. I can only say, no matter how crappy things look, it's my experience that they always get better than they were before the crap started. You just have to hope. Stay strong, and remember, we're here for you if you want to vent.

Good luck to you, Goth and Moon. Sounds like you both have some interesting times ahead of you.


As for me, oh, I've got a lot of things going right now. For one I've met a chick, a really, really good friend, over the Net who I like enough that I've made plans to go to her soonish and hook up with her. Other than that, I've finished my half-year of studying Japanese. The ending wasn't too pretty, and I didn't pass the course due to some minor rules that didn't agree with me, but I now know a bit of Japanese.

And now I'm once again left standing here, thinking about where to go and what I'll do next. Being that I'm an adventurer, it's not strange that I'm once more in this position, but this time, I've got a few more options than I had the previous times.

For one, I want to re-enlist with the Swedish military and go to Afghanistan. I could justify this for y'all, but, you know, let it be enough to say that while I don't believe in America's war in Afghanistan, I do believe in and support the Swedish presence there. I know not all of you agree with my decision to apply, and I accept that. It's something I feel I should do, though. There are a lot of different reasons, but the main reason is my gut feeling tells me I should try and apply. Do note, however, even if I apply, it's far from certain that they'll let me go.

Other than that, I'm looking for work on Gotland, among other places. Gotland is the beautiful island where I studied archaeology for five or six months. I'm hoping I get to spend the summer there with some random job that'll give me a reason to stick around to the Medieval Week. The work will serve more purposes, mainly to gather money so I can go to USA and hook up with a girl.

The above two aren't really anything I can do for an actual living for anything but a short period of time, well, unless I want to become a professional soldier or mercenary/private security contractor, and while I don't think either are bad guys just because of their chosen profession, I don't rightly feel like doing either for an actual living in the future. I think skills as a soldier is something everyone should have, but not something I myself at least, want to put to use professionally except for as a peacekeeper.

So, being the adventurer that I am, I'm thinking of studying again, this time to become a sailor. The education is roughly eight months long or so, nothing too much, and I can study from home, living at my mother's place, so I can save money, and at the same time work up the points/credits I need from failing Japanese. After I get home from Afghanistan if I'm accepted, I'll prolly put that education to good work somehow. And if I'm not accepted to go to Afghanistan, I'll definitely put it to good use and look for work on a ship.

Still, as it stands, all three are only loose plans. I haven't decided anything yet, but, as always with me, it's likely that this is how it'll happen if I have any say in it. That, and it's good being a sailor, because even if I don't work as one in the future I can still get my own boat one day.

Thanks dear friend. I wish you well in all your endeavers Loxley. Please give me your address if you end up in the military so we can stay in touch.

I'll do that, don't worry. But from what I hear, the communications in Afghanistan are pretty decent, with phone and email, so I should be able to keep in contact with y'all, both here and via Facebook.

Lorri, I feel your pain and frustration deeply girl. How can I not soul sister? Computer problems have rendered my messenger pretty much unusable although last night in a stroke of luck/miracle I managed to fix my laptop. Now I have to reinstall messenger on it and hope it works...as for this computer (the desktop jobby) well, between kids and study I don't really get much free time to chat and when I do it is the middle of the night where you live (aint that the pits??). But I often think of you and Greg and send you love and positive energy.

I wish I could put a positive spin on what you are going through and offer you some hope but I know you are too wise to buy it. "Life just is" and sadly old age claims the ones that illness and accident doesn't. I am going through a bit of a downer seeing all the death and destruction in the world right now and so I am not the person to really talk to about this. I cried about twenty times yesterday at different events. My sensitivity is in hyper-drive. I even cried at two movies where the character died and it wasn't even real life!! I cried for the ones left behind as well. I am just feeling everything at the moment.

The best you can do is what you are doing - being YOU. Beautiful, loving, persevering you...there's not much more anyone could ask for than a strong, warm woman like you by their side no matter what leg of life's journey they are on. Old age is scary. Watching someone you love fade away due to age is not pleasant. You've had such alot of challenges and this is just one more kick in the guts. I love you for your honesty and your courage and for sharing the truth about what it is like. Thank you sweet friend. Know that even when it feels like you are alone, there are many others holding you in their hearts and thoughts, cheering you on. Just as you are here for us - we are here for YOU. Don't ever forget that

Virus, dear adventurer/pirate/truthseeking Virus...lol I so love hearing about your adventures and changes in circumstance. Always I feel myself smiling at the indomitable energy that drives you. You are truly an Indigo working from his inner compass in this lifetime. When I hear of these little stop points you reach I just shake my head in recognition and go "yup, I totally get where you are at, mate." You know it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your choices because they are yours to make and you are so honest in what you do. I hope you do get the girl, achieve your dream and then find yourself waiting for the next adventure to come. In a lot of ways I see some of myself in you. I too am finding myself chopping and changing and resisting anything that doesn't fit. Never stop believing in yourself. Keep finding new things and experiences and following your heart. You will be happy and have no regrets.

Are you still working on your book?

Thanks for your kind words, Goth.

As for the book, I must admit I've abandoned that idea for now. I'm currently working on a fantasy book, an old idea I've had for several years and that I finally feel I'm ready to write. Interestingly enough, my friend noted that it was very similar to reality in regards to the reptilians. I believe his exact words were, "How does David Icke feel about you stealing his work?"

hahaha follow your dreams mate. I am in a very creative writing mode at the moment too. I don't know if any of it will ever see the light of day as the type of fantasy I write is more to do with hot guys and fetishism.

Solane, your hubby has diabetes too? How is he doing? Mark is now on two different kinds of insulin shots and also a pill for diabetes. Plus his meds for high blood pressure and cholesterol. AND now they have discovered he has sleep apnea. AHHHHH! Anyway, I hope your hubby is very careful with his diet. I know it's difficult. Hugs!

Kat, thanks so much for always being there for me and all the wonderful compliments.

Thanks to all of you for your concern and well wishes.

It is Spring! A time for renewal. The greenery has pushed through the once frozen earth to bring its' beauty and inspiration forth. The trees are beginning to bud. Soon their leaves will fill the empty spaces. I will be sitting outside today even though it's chilly. I love nature and the beauty and peace it brings. I will revel in its majesty.

Excellent idea Lorri It is Autumn here so the weather is cooling after a long humid wet summer. Still got showers but I kinda like that cos everything smells so fresh.