The challenge of relationships

The challenge of relationships

"It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else."

-- Samuel Rogers

Despite our passion for romantic love, relationships are not the easiest way to find love and peace. They are, however, one of the most effective for finding our blocks.

Relationships naturally bring out into full view our desires, attachments and unconscious programs – our likes, dislikes, belief systems, judgments, compulsions, conformities, etc. Relationships challenge us because they take us deep into thoughts, feelings and experiences we have suppressed for a lifetime. That’s why they provide the very best arena for personal growth!

“Human relationships are the perfect tool for sanding away our rough edges and getting at the core of divinity within us.”

-- Eknath Easwaran

Relationships are both a challenge and an opportunity. Not only do they help define ourselves but they can allow us to see ourselves in another person. What we like about a person - what attracts us - is often the qualities we like in ourselves. The science behind how or why we form relationships and with whom is quite interesting. Romantic partners are usually chosen for being 'an equal match' for ourselves. That is, someone we perceive to be similar to ourselves in looks, intelligence, personality, etc. In this sense, we are looking for ourselves in another - it is the goal of finding a partner. Could it then be that the love we wish to share is the love we have for ourselves? If we look at it this way, then we are practicing projecting self-love outwards...