Is your city without love?

I guess this is a generalised grumble about a culture I see in society that even has it's tentacles firmly planted in personal relationships in my life. Why can people not disagree without hatred being invoked? Recently, I have had disagreements with two very important people in my life. While I tried to stick to facts and resolve the issues, the people involved shut me out and gave me the cold shoulder. One of those people has not spoken to me since the conversation took place several weeks ago. The other became abusive and hung up on me for having an opinion that disagreed with theirs.

On a non-personal level, I was shopping in a fruit market through the week, and an older shopper knocked her trolley straight into my body and then gave me a distasteful look rather than apologising. Aparently, I was in the way and she wanted to get to the bin of fruit I stood in front of it. That was her way of letting me know to move.

This growing tide of rudeness and anger only makes me want to isolate myself more from society. I don't understand where all the aggro comes from. I go out with a smile on my face and a kind word to all I meet (yes even the lady with the trolley!). Confrontation to me is not about starting a war, but trying to resolve issues with people peacefully and with a beneficial outcome to all involved (sometimes a tricky task, I know).

Has anyone else experienced this?

Woah! Yeah I think people can be VERY rude. I have had a couple of instances where drivers have deliberately tried to run me over when they did not have the right of way. A couple of years ago, a woman out of the blue decided to inform me that I would get breast cancer or sunstroke because I was showing a little cleavage. She told me that it was "awful looking your chest". Ok firstly, my boobs are the smallest possible cup size and it's not like I had a rack of heaving bosom on display. It was just a slightly low neckline. Actually it was a similar top to the one I was wearing in a picture I posted on these forums a while ago. I felt so awful when this lady said these things to me, I felt like she was almost cursing me (and not too long after that I actually did get a breast lump - it turned out to be a cyst). I could have been REALLY rude back to her, because at the time I was defensive and inwardly upset, but I just replied "Hmmm, oh well never mind!" and she walked off muttering. A number of bus drivers have been very rude to me also, all of them older men. I get really pissed off at the time, but I am working on trying not to get upset by people. Also working in a shop you see the bad side of people too. Sometimes customers think they have the right to be rude to you even when you're being really nice to them. I can't get my ahead around it why people want to go around being aggressive and rude to others. I've had arguments with people in the past because I couldn't handle their attitude and I just had to say something, but in the end it's not worth my energy. On one hand it's disillusioning, but on the other hand it makes me limit my interactions in a way that is actually positive... because I can then save myself some energy and live in a world where my interactions are within relationships that I value.

Wow, you have come up with a great solution there. Your experiences don't surprise me. I am still finding similar things around me. I have yet to make the transition to not taking it personally though...sigh. Today I was on the phone to a professional lady who works in the health industry with children and she left me with a negative feeling that is still lingering now - a full 10 hours after the actual conversation. She literally told me how I should be raising my son instead of sticking to the boundaries of her job which is caring for his mental health. Being a stubborn taurean, I don't like to to be told what to do so it went don't even worse when she said 'this is what we expect of you or we won't work with your son...'.

That lady who commented on your cleavage reminds me of these two teenage girls who were laughing at me today in a department store...well, actually, maybe they were and maybe they weren't...you know how this experience goes. Teens huddle and whisper looking your way and laughing and you get all paranoid...so that one was probably me assuming I was their target when it was some other poor woman behind me. Either way, it sucks to feel singled out and ridiculed and I can empathise with you over the cleavage comment, except I am the opposite with huge boobs that take on a life of their own and there is no way that I can't show cleavage...besides, it is too hot here in sunny queensland to keep them under wraps.

I have those paranoid moments too, Goth. If people are laughing I tend to think it's at me. I'm sure that sometimes it actually is, because groups of young people can be so immature. Personally I don't see why boobs should be kept under wraps! They're part of your body, they're natural and not harming anyone so why not!

I feel your situation with that woman, and still feeling upset over it 10 hours later. It sounds like she really crossed the boundaries. I think we Taureans are renowned at not liking being told what to do. And when it comes from someone who is somehow in a position of 'power' over you it's kind of like this --> Sigh. I don't know why people have to be like that, and unfortunately sometimes there's no way of avoiding people's negativity. Limiting who I interact with works for me socially, in terms of cutting out the people I'd rather not be around because of their attitude, but day to day life means that things may happen with random people. Being energy sensitive it can also be affecting on that level as well. If you're still being affected by your conversation, have you tried clearing your aura? Sometimes I clear my aura after I get home from work, and if it's something that DID need to be done, it makes me feel a lot better.

I often neglect my own self care and get caught up in the fog of emotions. Right now though I am thinking the message in that lady for me was how I am actively engaged in trying to bring about a new way of healing people with mental illness and that begins with a shift in attitude. I've got to move past the anger stage and into being proactive. For far too long I have been caught in an attitude of being 'useless' or feeling lost and worthless on this planet. I am afterall, 'just a mum'. Lately though I have seen how important my role is given the opportunities present in my children to bring about change to this planet. I am not just a mum but a custodian of the next generation and I have great influence over what they bring to the world through how I raise them and what I teach them. And I keep being reminded of the one word that used to really annoy me: 'choice'. I will be dealing with that woman again and quite soon and I feel our ideas are going to clash but I will have the choice as to what to take from the situation and how to help my son best.

I do need to sit in my own energy and clear it more frequently though. I have made the decision to live intuitively and honour my natural state of existence. Being sensitive does require an increased awareness of what we take on and releasing that which is not ours. I think I did a better job last night when one of the kids' relatives rang and tried to wrangle me into a guilt trip that was not mine to own. I managed to be direct without getting emotionally overwhelmed. Then when I began to feel sorry for her, I reminded myself of the actions that were not present to back up her so-called 'I'm a victim' mentality. These days I don't get walked all over as much as I used to by wearing my heart on my sleeve and being so overly-sensitive and gullible.

Sounds like you are on top of it, Goth! It's a learning process for all of us and the great thing is that you're aware of where you are in that process and where you need to go with it. I really admire your fortitude!

Thanks Gem.

An even bigger challenge is not taking on somebody else's values as your own and losing yourself when you are a sensitive. So often we seem to act like chameleons to blend in with our company and it is really not in our best interests. Often we pay the price with our own identity compromising who we are or simply losing the ability to hold onto our true essence of self. This can leave us feeling lost and confused, or even unfulfilled. For me it leads to depression. I am consciously making the effort now to stay true to my core self and not do the switcheroo just to fit in with other people or gain their acceptance. The payoff will be having people around me who value me for me which equates to healthier relationships and a happier Goth.