I lost it.....

Okay.... yesterday, I lost it. My father started going off on me, and I said please don't get me started becayse I will lose it. He asked why and I went off. I said this and that and said that this person isn't doing a thing around the house to help. Just me and my Dad cleaning. This person is my brother. My Mom on the other hand, I don't expect her to do things... she has done it for years and years....

So I lose it. I feel horrible and I walk away. The SO, is proud of me for getting things off my chest, proud that I spoke up. I feel horrible....

So later my Dad tells my Mom and my Mom loses it, saying that I am picking on my brother and that I compare him to me???? and that if I don't want to do anything don't and saying tha I have something against my brother. Well, I am so frustrated.
Yes, the living arrangements are a little tight, we are all adults and I wish it was different, finances right at this point don't allow it. But then everyone should help. The SO, has a bad back, yes he should do more and he has just started the past few days to do more. My brother..... he doesn't even change the toilet paper role.... seriously... he does do stuff..... His knee is a little hurt right now, but c'mon, change the toilet paper role for freaks sake...
So now my Mom has gone off on me and I feel like a a$$ because I started it all because I spoke my mind.....whatever

MEh. There's almost always friction when people live together in tight quarters. Don't let it get to ya. Hopefully, it'll be good again in a couple of days or so.

So sorry to hear about your tough time. When I moved back home in my mid-20's, I was shocked by how different it was. Before, although we had our differences things were usually very comfortable. But, that time things got ugly. We had many shouting matches, long--very long--arguments on many subjects, and paranoia grew on both sides. It was a horrible ordeal to go through. But due to overwhelming stress and tension--ironically--I had to stay home for some time because I was incapable of working, or living on my own (which I couldn't have afforded without a job.) If I couldn't have stayed home, I would have had to have stayed in a mental hospital. Because I was unable to cook meals or anything. I was crippled by stress. And I was shocked by the near-total lack of understanding and sympathy for my condition, by parents who had been so awesome for so long. I know I was in my mid-20s, but I had gone through a horrible time and had suffered a series of panic attacks. I was so mad at them for not understanding, and they were mad at me for not helping with mowing the lawn at summer or shovelling the driveway at winter--yes, I stayed there for few years! I had to. And it was horrible.

So, I understand how difficult it can be when you are living under your parents' roof and things go bad. It hurts because you love them and you feel that your relationships with them are falling apart. And yet it's extremely frustrating, for multiple reasons.

You need to find an escape. Be it a park, a health club, anything. You may find usage with a councillor, to have someone who will listen and understand what you are going through (that helps a lot.) Meditation can also work wonders. It will be difficult no matter what, but you need to try to limit your stress as much as possible.

I can tell you that no matter how bad it has gotten or may get, afterwards when you have a place of your own the damage can be repaired. I didn't think it could be in our case--so many horrible things were said on both sides, it seemed that our relationships were damaged forever. Things are a LOT better between us now, and the things that were said are all but forgotten, left to the past.

So you need to focus on getting through the present. Getting outdoors, breathing in that fresh air, can make a world of difference. Helping out around the house (if you are able) can be a positive booster for the situation. Meditating and alleviating stress is essential. And of course, talking about it. A forum site like LW is a great place to vent.

Awww Shan, hugs! Once you're on your own, this will all be but a memory. You will be closer to your brother one day. In the meantime try talking to him when you have calmed down and explain that you feel it is unfair to you and your parents that he doesn't pitch in and help. Plan B: Beg. Plan C: Just do the best you can and realize how much your parents appreciate it.

Ah, Parents that play favorites...

I could vent right along with you as one is given and the other is punished.

It sounds like you and I have a few things in common.

As many of us do...

(((Hugs)))

Ditto

Shan, a big hug from me to you cos that is all I can give right now. I got no advice...nada...nothing...I don't even live with my Mother and she still plays favourites and upsets me...