Feeling pretty down recently

I have been feeling very tired the past week or so and I think this is contributing to what's making me feel so down. The way I'm feeling it doesn't matter if I think the usual good philosophical/spiritual stuff; when you are feeling low those good thoughts can just feel like platitudes even though you know they are true and that you're going to come through it. So I'm not looking for any advice by posting this, I know what I have to do to and to focus on - but I am just hoping that someone could give me a reading that would brighten my day a little... a positive glimpse... of anything (an event, a message) that would give me a boost right now.

How did you make out on your move?

Are you now in your own apartment?

Share what is good in your life... Talk about the bad and look for ways to overcome...

Yes, the move was good and I love the new place. I had been feeling good about my life and I know I have lots to be grateful for. This down mood is, I think, a product of physical over-tiredness more than anything specific in my life.

I'm kind of fragile myself at the moment Gem, but I am going to reach out and read for you because anything that happens through light has to help us both right?

I want to mention that straight away I went on automatic pilot and the cards I went to get were not the ones i was guided to so I let go and let the guides take over my body...instead of cards they reached for stones...an amethyst, an agate and a large palm-sized iolite. The cards which I finally got led to are a very specific deck - the Oracle of the Dragonfae by Lucy Cavendish. These are an Australian deck made by a Wiccan practitioner. I keep getting earthy feelings and nature spirit related energy Gem, and I know it is significant.

The stones meanings:

Iolite being the largest one giving off the most vibrations in my palm (lots of warm comforting energy) is the first one I am being guided to tell you about:

Iolite is a fascinating stone with an interesting past. Ancient mariners used iolite as a compass to guide their way to sea. They noted that it would show different hues of blue-violet when held to the northern and southern skies. Ancients believed that it could unlock creativity in an artist.
Iolite opens a path to your deep inner self

Use this stone to discover the lost parts of self and your inner treasures. It is an excellent stone for shamanic journeying or to assist in recovering information from past lives.

It clears the third eye chakra. It is a stone of vision and creative expression. Iolite is especially compatible with:

* lapis lazuli
* amethyst
* azurite

Healing properties of Iolite

Iolite supports the healing of the eyes, stimulates memory and helps with sleep imbalances.



source: crystal cure

Iolite is said to be a very psychic and mystical stone that facilitates visualisation. It is also believed to stimulate intuitive insights and to help you to express your true self. It can free you from the expectations of others and encourage you to take responsibility for yourself, helping you to lead an independent life.

source: crystal well-being

Amethyst which was mentioned as a good companion to Iolite is obviously there in support of spiritual strengthening.

Protection Stone

Ancient Egyptians used the amethyst guard against guilty and fearful feelings. It has been worn as protection from self-deception, as well as a protection against witchcraft. The amethyst has long been used to open the spiritual and psychic centers, making it one of the power stones. It is also used as a meditation aid when worn as a necklace.
Wisdom Stone

The amethyst is known as the Bishop's Stone and is still worn by Catholic Bishops. The amethyst symbolizes piety, humility, sincerity and spiritual wisdom. It is thought the amethyst is the perfect stone to symbolize The Age of Aquarius.
Healing properties of Amethyst

Amethyst is a gemstone often worn by healers, as it has the power to focus energy.

More here: Crystal Cure

And finally the small agate:

Agate Gemstone meaning

This is THE stone everyone should have for protection. This group of stones are variegated chalcedony. (see also moss agate, eye agate) The agate is one of the oldest stones in recorded history.

Agates attract strength. Agate is a protection from bad dreams. It also protects from stress and energy drains.

Healing properties of agate

Agate is used for stomach upsets. Place the agate on the solar plexus. The agate can't change emotions, but helps to change our level of acceptance of the emotion. Such as when you are very sad the agate will let you know that this will pass and help you get on to another and better day. This is why the Agate is considered so powerful as it gives us the strength to carry on. Carry an agate when you have to make an important decision.

More: agate

Also: It is a soothing and calming crystal which works slowly to bring inner strength, self-acceptance and self-confidence. Agate encourages you to stop worrying and to take a step back from your problems helping you to regain balance and to release negativity from your life.

From: Well-being

The one I have looks like this:

Moss agate:

Moss agates are considered the most powerful of the agates. It was the agate of warriors. Moss agate is the most powerful of the agates that helps balance emotional energy. It helps the user to let go of anger and bitterness, so the emotions are balanced. When used in jewelry the moss agate is believed to bring the wearer health, friends and riches.

Moss agate enhances concentration, persistence, endurance and success in one's endeavors. It is an abundance stone.
Healing properties of moss agate

Moss Agate strengthens in times of stress.

It is helpful in relieving sensitivities to weather and pollution. Midwives use it to assist in successful birthing. It is used to speed up recovery, conteract long term illnesses, cleanse the circulatory and elimination systems.

Oh man, this is the first time I have had stones give a reading through me! Wow, looks like I have discovered a new talent No wonder I got sidetracked from the cards...

Now agate is also associated with Taurus and Gemini (no surprises there, huh?)

So to the cards...

Ooh very nice! Each stone has chosen a card...

You got alot goin on in your solar plexus girl!! I am feeling churning energy.

The Iolite has chosen Morgan LeFay which is the card of healing. it represents a time of needing shelter and longing to return to a home that is of the soul. You long for another person to take up your cause to give you strength to move forwards again...you will find that person and their belief in you and friendship gives you the courage to go on in a way that frees you and inspires others too.

The moss agate chose Queen Mab whose message is that your ancient wisdom is awakening. Ooh, she is also the queen of the fairies so there is the nature spirit connection. This card talks about understanding karmic history and applying lessons and principles form the old ways in the present moment. You need to trust in messages received telepathically now. Know that your thoughts have energy and can have an immense impact on what happens (as you mentioned in your post about knowing the reality of positive thinking - good going darl - you already tapped into this part!). Indulge in some old-fashioned magick, believe in your own abilities and trust in the ancient ways of wisdom that run in your blood, as well as in the planet's heartbeat.

Oh wow the imagery I am getting...Gem, you have some celtic connection and it is connected with your use of crystals and aromatherapy. I am seeing you making a gem infusion that you are spritzing room to room to lift the energy...is it lavendar and amethyst? There is a lot of purple associated with it...someone makes fun of you, they don't believe in what you are doing and it shakes your confidence. Do it anyway!! You know at your core that you have the knowledge. This other person is not up to your level of knowing yet. You are an achiever through your quiet ways but you don't feel validated for it. This other person finds it amusing. Know that it isn't your stuff holding you back here - it is theirs! You are so tuned in to natural energies.

The amethyst chose the Dragonfae Goddess Tiamet...and straight away I am seeing that statue you were offered and weren't sure whether to take it or not. This card says you are stronger than you think! (I agree!!). The knowledge of the eternal nature of the soul, be aware of your own soul's journey through time and space , be aware that you are made up pf galactic (star) material, earthly materials, of the ocean and fire. A time when others say things about you that are not only untrue they are inspired by their own fear. Soon you will have recognition and a kind of rebirth,a nd you will realise, that you are a strong warrior, a being whose spirit can never be vanquished, just as your complexity and brilliance can never be fully captured in words or images. Go on and recreate your life from this ending that seems hard to bear. What you go on and create willhave beauty, genius, wisdom and grace in it. Astrology, astronomy, the science of the stars...

Tiamet is also known as Tiamat...Tiamat

Get ready for the big connection here...

Tiamat was the "shining" personification of salt water who roared and smote in the chaos of original creation. She and Apsu filled the cosmic abyss with the primeval waters. She is "Ummu-Hubur who formed all things".

In the myth recorded on cuneiform tablets, the deity Enki (later Ea) believed correctly that Apsu, upset with the chaos they created, was planning to murder the younger deities; and so slew him. This angered Kingu, their son, who reported the event to Tiamat, whereupon she fashioned monsters to battle the deities in order to avenge Apsu's death. These were her own offspring: giant sea serpents, storm demons, fish-men, scorpion-men and many others.

Tiamat possessed the Tablets of Destiny and in the primordial battle she gave them to Kingu, the god she had chosen as her lover and the leader of her host. The deities gathered in terror, but Anu, (replaced later, first by Enlil and, in the late version that has survived after the First Dynasty of Babylon, by Marduk, the son of Ea), first extracting a promise that he would be revered as "king of the gods", overcame her, armed with the arrows of the winds, a net, a club, and an invincible spear.

Notice Enki? Lilith's guide? Welcome to the growing club of Sirian contactees on this site Gem I believe that Tiamat card is a big clue...you asked for a positive glimpse and a boost. If that isn't one, then I don't know what is....

Geez, I feel like I just wrote an epic screenplay... and I am a little dizzy....lol

I had typed out a reasonably lengthy reply, but then the internet disconnected and it didn't post! I'll write it out again later, or over the weekend when I have more time, but for now the main point of what I wrote the first time was... THANK YOU! Your reading was very accurate on so many points (I'll explain later), and the rest which I'm yet to process and fully understand, is incredibly fascinating... interestingly, 'Children of the Dog Star' is a TV show I watched in the '80s, about children who were being contacted by aliens... I know you are going through a rough patch yourself at the moment Goth, so I doubly appreciate your efforts to give me a lift. THANK YOU again! You will hear more from me about the reading soon!!!

Cool, glad to help Gem. I just thought to add that Tiamat was Enki's mother in Sumerian Mythology. Tiamat was Goddess of the seas (where life on earth aparently originated from) and Enki was connected with truth, fertility and well you get the picture...there's a procession there...a timeline of evolution if you think about it... Okay, back to bed Goth, those fevers are making you delirious...

Gem,

I hope Goths reading helped. I will work on a portrait for you over the weekend and post it for you. Hope it will give you some light.

Goth, incredible skill you posess there. Well done girl!!!!!

Thank you Shannon - only if you're feeling up to it!

I agree, Goth you have some amazing talents... the crystal reading in particular is something you should do more of, because I could REALLY relate to everything you said. I'm coming back later (I had a full-on weekend and was too tired to get online much yesterday), and will comment much more fully then!

Gem, love....

I will do a portrait for you. If you would do me a favour and that is to give me a little time....
My Sig other, I took him to the hospital this morn to have a abcess drained (it was in his right pec muscle)..... so he is pretty weak today, and he is a little helpless. So I haven't been able to get to it. I am very sorry, and I will. I have been a little distracted and don't want my emotions to impede on your reading.
They say that if he had left it, it would have goneinto his blood and probably killed him within a couple of weeks..... oh my god....so they caught it just in time..... he is home now with a nurse coming to morrow to change the dressing...... I guess it was ok enough to be sent home. Anyway, with a hole in his chest and a dressing that takes up half of his chest I am taking care once again and am up to my eyeballs....

Sorry love, I will get to it shortly

Thanks guys. And it will be more of what I do. I don't want to detract from Gem's thread but I just had a very cleansing weekend. I was so sick that I collapsed in front of my kids and then couldn't get out of bed for two days. BUT I am recovering now and with the help of a very special guardian angel from India, and have been assisted with using the experience to see the truth in who I am and what I am capable of. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I am feeling firmly anchored on this planet and full of light

I hope you are experiencing something more positive now Gem. You know how to use the astrological energies and that I am sure will always propel you forwards. I am in awe of how all things are connected and how our free will is there to help us create the reality we want through working with other energies.

Peace and love

harmonygirl wrote:

Gem, love....

I will do a portrait for you. If you would do me a favour and that is to give me a little time....
My Sig other, I took him to the hospital this morn to have a abcess drained (it was in his right pec muscle)..... so he is pretty weak today, and he is a little helpless. So I haven't been able to get to it. I am very sorry, and I will. I have been a little distracted and don't want my emotions to impede on your reading.
They say that if he had left it, it would have goneinto his blood and probably killed him within a couple of weeks..... oh my god....so they caught it just in time..... he is home now with a nurse coming to morrow to change the dressing...... I guess it was ok enough to be sent home. Anyway, with a hole in his chest and a dressing that takes up half of his chest I am taking care once again and am up to my eyeballs....

Sorry love, I will get to it shortly

Shan, I am really sorry to hear about this. Please be sure to take time to look after you too. You are always looking after everyone else and believe me I can relate to this. Even if you only have 5 minutes, take time to stare out a window at the sun shining through the trees, or take a stroll on the grass. Give your soul something back that isn't stress. I see an angellic presence around you - a spirit trying to shield you from taking on more than you can handle. And you are right - the sig other is well enough to be sent home and he has carers around him. You often get overlooked huh? I know you do, so give yourself the attention you need and know that suffering in silence isn't being strong. You deserve to be cared for too, my sweet. I keep getting shown that pic you posted of the little bird on your hand and feeling it clutching your finger so gently...there is spirit around you holding your hand even when you don't feel it. Even those birds are nature's spirit there to support you.

Goth, I hope you are feeling much better now too. Take good care of yourself! And Shannon, please take care of yourself too - something I know for myself is that if we don't care for ourselves then we can NOT care for others adequately. The absess your S.O. had sounds like a scary thing, glad to hear that he was successfully treated and that he will be on the mend now. I'm not sure how you get an absess in the pec, but it makes me wonder what is going on with his heart chakra - a breast cyst last year had me wondering what was going on with mine!! Don't worry at all regarding the portrait - you are busy and burdened enough right now. Please do it ONLY if and when you feel that you want to; I won't at all be offended if you don't, so please don't pressure yourself while you have so much going on. :)

Goth, yes I am in a more positive frame of mind now than I was - mostly thanks to your reading. As well, things have happened since then that have confirmed and re-confirmed many things that you said, particularly regarding the sensitivity and my tendency to take on others' energies. A big moth flew into my bathroom while I was in there, and they freak me out - partly by conditioned response (my mum has a phobia of moths) and partly because of a moth dream I had as a little girl - so it occured to me that I should learn what they might mean as a shadow totem, or just as a totem in general. Turns out they can mean communication from the other side, BUT the thing that really struck me was that they relate to issues of sensitivity. The other thing that occurred is that I was out and was with Mr Gem's sister, and she spilled her drink; straight afterwards I spilled mine too, and she commented that I am sensitive to other people's energy and that my spill was a result of me of picking up her energy; we then had a great conversation that lifted the both of us and helped us to understand ourselves more. I think we both felt really good that we could relate to how each other feels about not 'fitting in'. More importantly I think I'm really beginning to understand just how much of a psychic sponge I am... and in gaining that understanding I think I'll become more able to deal with it. Because I know, that sometimes how I feel is not 'me' - I feel like "me", Alison, is really a strong person who is more confident, happy and balanced than I have been recently; but for some reason I've started to become really thrown off balance by various people to the point where the effect can be anywhere from annoying to de-stabilising. I have felt the effects of psychic vampirism on my energy, and I should have learned earlier how to really protect myself, but I think I will now get closer to finding what works for me on a more consistent basis.

What you said about astrological energies is interesting too. As I was attempting to sleep on Saturday night, one of the things that I saw in my mind'e eye was a circle above my head with symbols in it. I wasn't sure if this could be alien symbols or whether it was a zodiac representation. I seem to recall there was a Capricorn glyph there, but unsure now. What a night that was, btw! I am unsure whether I astral travelled back to the party where I had come home from... I dreamed that I went back there, at least... but I don't remember sleeping at all, I only remember being awake all night and not being *able* to sleep. And then a song by MB was cycling around and around in my head and would not go away, which wasn't annoying at all, but it did play a part in keeping me awake... all night I didn't look at the clock but when I did look it was finally 6.56 am and then my cellphone switched itself on and did strange things (there was no alarm set, and my phone never switches itself on), and then I couldn't switch it off again. So I had to just get up and try to fix my phone... and it wasn't worth going back to bed after that, so... man I am tired... I was watching a video last night and I saw a sparkle go past me, then reading Kelvin's book I am sure I felt a breeze on my face... I think there is a good reason why I need to read the book and go to the show. It seems like lots of things are happening for me and I feel like I'm on the edge of some great things happening for me personally... but it has taken things like your reading, and input from people around me, and seeing the little signs, to prompt the changes. So I am feeling a lot better......

btw... I'm not sure if you remember the second reading you did for me Goth - in that one, Marc was the last one and he told you that I know who he is... but there was also a lady in trackie dackies... I think I might have dreamed about her a couple of nights ago. I actually thought it was someone else, but I just made the connection this afternoon that maybe it was her. She was kinda bossy. I don't suppose if you can remember whether the lady in your reading had curly hair and was smallish? It might not even be the same person... but in my dream I didn't really want to listen to her. Also the other night I saw in my mind's eye a young man with curly hair... it wasn't Marc... but he seemed more like a country boy or something, who seemed very pleasant and friendly. Errr... I must wonder why all of these people are curly-haired, lol. Not to mention that Leo Sayer was playing in the Satay noodle house today and it made me think of Mika! Everyone who gets into my mind is curlyyyyy! Sorry for rambling, haha... must be my tiredness taking over...

Ahh, more about your reading Goth. My solar plexus is physically a trouble spot, and I know that my body is showing me what I should pay attention to. So you are totally right. And yes, it is Mr Gem who thinks my beliefs are amusing and it annoys me. Mostly I don't give a fat rat's about what he thinks, because I know what's true for me and I know that it's not flakey like he tries to pretend it is. It's true that some people grab onto spirituality as a way to give their life meaning or to escape reality, and yes there may be some people who just like to believe in a fantasy world (and that is their choice, and it's where they are at), but my beliefs (like everyone else on this forum) are based on my actual experiences, and I am not stupid... I'm strong in my beliefs, and one person's opinion can't deter me. But, at the same time, it hurts on another more personal level... because it's negative towards me. However I also realise that if a person is negative towards others, it's because they are negative towards themselves. Perhaps my solar plexus is having trouble because I'm in defence of my self-determination. Maybe I should not use my energy so defensively, and instead just KNOW that I am self-determined.

Anyway...

It was another bad sleep last night because I was too hot again. And my ears were tingling again. And I was dreaming weird dreams... more dogs, including another doberman. They were still a bit threatening, but all the same more placid than in the last dream. I felt a little bit stronger. But it's worried me a little bit that there was a Maori girl who I was with and when I decided not to accompany her on a bush walk because it was getting dark and rainy, she seemed to get very depressed and she walked off into the rain (down the street though, not into the bush) and left her dog behind. I felt like I let her down, but at the same time I had to look after myself and I felt that it was her choice to go walking off and that it wasn't my drama... it seemed sad though like she was going to walk off and die or something. Then in another part of the dream I was going to a Kelvin Cruickshank show and it was spread out over three small rooms in three different levels of a building - his actual show was in the middle floor, with the other two rooms having TV coverage of it where you could sit and watch the screen. All the rooms had couches. I was annoyed because I could only find the TV rooms (I ended up going to both, looking for the 'real' room where the show was going to take place) and I was pretty put out about the situation because I wanted to be in the actual room where Kelvin was, and be a participant, not just a distant observer - which I felt would be a rip-off. I found my way there and got my seat on the couch. Then I left the room for something, and when I came back there were lots of people there and my seat had been taken - I was ok about it though and was like, "oh, my seat has been taken!" and then I asked someone if they could move over - so I did get my seat. Kelvin was there and he seemed to be a happy person, and very welcoming. Also one person on the couches, who smiled at me, looked like the curly haired boy that I saw in my mind the other night. I realise my mind could have simply projected this into my dream, but it does make me wonder if it could be an actual person. I seem to have a lot going on in my brain at the moment!

Oh and the gem essence... I've been misting with a clear quartz essence that I made, and there is a little frankincense and rosewood in it too. The quartz has a rainbow in it. There is a lot of purple associated with my bedroom though - I have an amethyst cluster in there, an amethyst window crystal, and my duvet set is mostly purple. An amethyst and lavender room spray sounds excellent though... it sounds like just the thing I should be using in every room. Or citrine and orange/lemon for my office at least... I feel that this room is in dire need of some solar energies (it also needs a bit of uplifting decor - orange and yellow of course!).

How do you make the mists? Do you put water over the quartz and add your lavender and whatever then drain it and put it in a misting bottle? Do you use fresh or dried herbs, or oils? Sounds enchanting.

Yes! I leave a cleansed crystal in a small glass dish of water, in the sunlight (for a day usually) so that the water becomes infused with the crystal energies. I usually also direct my intention to the crystal to charge the water. Then I just put the charged water in a clean, glass spray bottle and add 1 or 2 drops of essential oil if I feel led to. The first one I ever made, I used no oils but I added reiki to the water - it made a very clearing aura mist (the first few times I used it, it made my ears pop and I would also have to ground myself)! I've never tried making flower essences, but I believe you can make your own lavender essence or essence of any other plant by using the same techniques.

Hey Gem, sorry I haven't got back to ya til now. Been sick as y'all probably know. Taking it verrrryyyy slow and looking after myself and my kids.

I am so glad the reading helped and it sounds like it reminded you of which parts of yourself you can access to heal and lift your energy. Believe it or not, I have felt the ripple effect. Tourmaline has called me loud and clear. Unbelievably I had a black tourmaline attract me to it in a shop that doesn't normally sell crystals! You see, I believe that this is further validation that when you ask for help it comes from unexpected sources. I have certainly witnessed that repeatedly in the past week. The particular tourmaline I found was white like quartz at the top and the bottom of the kind of triangular stone is black with brilliant red splotches all over it. These colours are symbolic for me. This particular stone is believed to draw negative energies out of the body and living areas. Already since it arrived in my life, my house feels lighter. I burnt dragon's blood incense before I went out and then coincidentally the stone came into my life. I say coincidentally because dragon's blood incense is a cleanser and dispeller of negative energies. So it was almost like the house was clear and then the stone came home to keep it that way.

This illness for me has been a big cleansing physically, psychically, mentally and emotionally. Right before it happened I surrendered to the highest power. I begged them for help and admitted that things had gotten so out of control that I couldn't cope. Instead of being suicidal I begged the powers that be not to let me die...to take the pain away. Then I got so sick I thought I was gonna die and I cried everyday and ended unable to get up, eat or drink. Instead of losing faith I flowed with it and now...now I walk with angels by my side everyday. I have a set of golden wings in my aura. I ask for help and it arrives. I assert my needs because I AM worth it. I hold my head up instead of looking down. And I share and empower my children with the unconditional love that is charging my body. As I posted in another thread, I unravelled a three year old mystery about a symbol I received. I now understand the lessons I have chosen for this lifetime. Big progress. But it got critical before it got lighter and the saying it is always darkest before the dawn sprang to mind. Dreams are sometimes confusing because they can be communication from other planes or they can be like the defrag program of our brains rearranging files and shooting the rubbish out in random strings of images...but dreams are only one part of a bigger picture and learning to interpret them in relations to other things in our lives is the way to understand the messages coming through. I think Gem you are getting there just fine. You are tapping into your inner wisdom and letting it guide you forwards.

And I think I will have a go at one of those mists myself. I will meditate on what stone wants to be involved....

Thanks for sharing your knowledge about this with us

I love your new 'golden wings' signature image! It seems to really reflect the process that you've been through recently. It sounds like an intense crash in every way, but you rose up and came out of it gloriously. That is truly inspirational! I think I've seen the crystal you're talking about in one of my books - will have to do some reading on this one! Always good to learn about new and different stones. I'm glad to hear that everything is going so beautifully for you now. Yeah though about my recent dreams, I think they are mostly my brain's filing cabinet sorting through things; dreams involving other planes, I can generally recognise straight away, whether I'm talking to MB, or simply walking around my town at night, or if an image pops in like a close-up and I know what it means - I always know those dreams for what they are. About the concrete path the other week, when I was not actually asleep, I'm relieved as I read Kelvin Cruickshank's book because today I read the chapter where he describes himself doing the same thing when he was younger. Fully awake but he saw a path, and while he was sitting there writing, he simultaneously walked on the path and went on an amazing journey... it was exactly like what started happening to me... in one place but simultaneously feeling like I was in another, with all of the sensations of reality *in that other place*... I guess it is kind of an astral projection... anyway, it was brill to find out someone else experienced the same thing. At the moment I'm feeling better overall, but at the same time frustrated at myself and my time management and how my life could be so much better and happier if I could just control my time better...... it's a solar plexus issue I think...

Good to hear you are getting better too darl I tellya that solar plexus is one helluva place to clear out!! I felt like the whole area was in crippling pain and then I released it...just let go and whoosh....like the tide being swept out before a tsunami all the junk came flooding out...I cried, I screamed, I sent angry text messages, I yelled at the injustices and unhealthy behaviour patterns in my life, and I felt gratitude that I could feel that deeply and acknowledge all that pain...basically I grieved. Then I surrendered to it and asked what do I do now? And the answer was, ask for help and allow myself to accept it. Ah yes, how many times do we ask for help but then get in our own way and block it from coming? This time I was open..all masks and defences were down. I felt like I had created a vacuum releasing all the old negative energy and the universe and in particular the angels rushed in to help infuse me with new energy. I also worked with my inner child to clear out the solar chakra. Now I feel so good. I crave water and fruit and vegetables (before i ate crap all the time). I am full of energy whereas before I struggled to get through the day. And I can even feel myself walking tall with a straighter spine and often having positive thoughts and saying loving things to myself. I know I am going on and on about it but it feels so amazing. That's why my sig changed - I think it captures my transition perfectly.

Wow! All I can say is... Congratulations!

As for my own solar plexus... guess what I have today... a tummy bug!

Oh no! Sending you healing vibes and love - get well soon Gem. My oldest son now has the virus I had.

Today I started searching for a ring. I went in one shop and was attracted to a light blue stone. It was blue topaz but it wasn't quite right. Straight after leaving the shop, the word Aquamarine kept popping up (not really a common word huh? And yet I saw it on a shopfront and then a huge billboard sign in front of my car!). I got the message loud and clear - the ring I am guided to has an aquamarine crystal in it. It is also a light blue or sometimes clear stone.

Aquamarine



Its light blue arouses feelings of sympathy, trust, harmony and friendship. Good feelings. Feelings which are based on mutuality and which prove their worth in lasting relationships. The blue of aquamarine is a divine, eternal colour, because it is the colour of the sky. However, aquamarine blue is also the colour of water with its life-giving force. And aquamarine really does seem to have captured the lucid blue of the oceans. No wonder, when you consider that according to the saga it originated in the treasure chest of fabulous mermaids, and has, since ancient times, been regarded as the sailors' lucky stone. Its name is derived from the Latin 'aqua' (water) and 'mare' (sea). It is said that its strengths are developed to their best advantage when it is placed in water which is bathed in sunlight. However, it is surely better still to wear aquamarine, since according to the old traditions this promises a happy marriage and is said to bring the woman who wears it joy and wealth into the bargain. An ideal gem, not only for loving and married couples.

In fact it is related to the emerald, both belonging to the beryl family.

source: gemstone.org

Here's the thing...the ring came to me as a way I can symbolise the committment I have made to myself to honour myself as a person and a woman and attract healthy relationships into my life from here on in. It's a symbol of self-love and self-respect. "To thine own self be true' seems to sum it up.

And there it is in the info above that aquamarine supports all that plus it has two very personal links to me - one, emerald is my birthstone (I was born in May) and aquamarine is related to emerald. Two, it has a connection with mermaids and I was one. In fact I still yearn for the sea and have a warm relationship with it. So yet again, the stones have spoken and I can hear one calling me...lol. Looks Like I have no choice. They are part of my journey and we are destined to work together.

Aquamarine is lovely... I've read about it in my crystal book and I really admire it's gentle beauty. I haven't been led to get one for myself as yet, but that may come in the future. Last night I couldn't tear myself away from my amethyst cluster for some reason. It's about half the size of my palm but I had to carry it around with me!

Thanks for the healing vibes and love. Feeling slightly better today but just very tired. I was reading another chapter from Kelvin's book this afternoon... I think I'll end up having the whole day as a sickie from work, I just can't be stuffed putting myself through the pressure of work when I'm not feeling good... I read a sad story in the book and started crying and now I've been crying on and off for an hour or so! I don't know what gets so wrong with me, why an emotional trigger makes me get so sad sometimes.

Gem, don't be so hard on yourself. The feelings are there for a reason. Let them be expressed without judging yourself. Take the time you need and don't feel guilty. Be proud that you are treating yourself with love and compassion and giving your feelings the space they need to be released and expressed. Goodness, some people read sad stories and don't blink an eye - if you are reading them and feeling deeply because of them then that is a good thing. There are enough de-sensitised people in the world as it is. Be proud of your sensitivity - your ability to connect and feel. That's something to be valued.

Thank you. I even cried at 'The Selfish Giant' being read on the radio this morning... it's not even real and it made me weepy! Then I got up early and looked out of the window to see Venus (I think it was, because it was so huge and bright), and started feeling emotional again because it was so pretty.