Animal Totems

Ahhh, yep. Makes a lot of sense. No one can do EVERYTHING... that's a lesson I am *still* learning. That's partly why I was feeling depressed about the minimal progress on my study. It's the thing that I most want to do, but unfortunately it comes about third or fourth on my list of priorities even though I would like it to come first. I was getting panda messages loud and clear for a long time, not to overwhelm and overwork myself, and I even came face to face with a giant panda mural on a wall the other day! It's difficult for me to manage everything with low energy levels, and that's my issue right there in a nutshell. Taking iron and getting lots of sleep was brilliant for me, but the minute I don't get enough sleep I'm back to square one. I'm still recovering from a bad sleep that I had a week ago, and when I have to get up early to go and work at the music store or if I try to get up early to get some study done, I end up overtired and I generally feel awful. So I get very torn between health/wellbeing vs study. First off, I have to work part-time or I could not pay my rent. For the first time in a while, I was on the brink of having no food in the house at all last week (and no money to do anything about it); we scraped through only because Mr Gem could give me $5 to get a few cheap ingredients. It took me back to when my hours were cut at my old job, and food-wise I often had to get by on what other people gave me. So working is a necessity, that's a fact I can't change. Then my fatigue issues HAVE to be addressed, I HAVE to work out and recognise what helps me to feel better and then act on it. Then, I have a boyfriend and family members who feel left out and even resentful if I can't spend time with them. And it works out that study comes down the list after that. Which is where the ant message comes in. I got up at 8am today and I have the tiredness feeling all around my eyes. Some of that will dissipate once I have a shower, but in all likelihood after a day at my other part-time job I'll be ready to sleep by around 10pm tonight, with minimal time spent with people and barely a page read for my study. I have to keep remembering, pandas and ants... pandas and ants...

Not sure if this fits here but given my salamander connection, maybe it does...

I have a new animal 'helper'. Only it isn't in this plane of existence materially...it meets me on the dream plane, delivers the messages and then when I awake I see it clearly as if it is here on this plane and solid. It is a small green dragon. Yes, you read right. I have a dragon guiding me. It is almost comical looking. It's about a foot long and quite chunky. Looks like one of those Chinese dragons but has tentacles on its snout...hoo boy.... I'm either crazy or connecting with something deeper. I've seen this little friend about three times in the past two weeks and each time I have awoken from very vivid dreams processing my personal life and opening me to new levels of understanding. I am almost certain that I am dealing with the devic realm, and that this critter is connected with the Fae kingdom.

Wow! That is sooOOOooOoooo cool, Goth! Let us know how this develops.

The weirdest thing...I got a new cat and it is the the spitting image of my dragon friend! Weirdness all around this one. I think the dragon was communicating to me and letting me know that it was going to materialise in my life as this cat. She came from a rescue shelter and she chose me and my son not the other way round. She has been such a teacher in her short time with us. She has especially been working with my oldest son to bring healing and comfort to him.

Haha, more to the dragon cat story...yesterday I was laying on my bed contemplating my storytelling skills and our friendly little black and white kitten comes in and jumps on my writing desk at the end of the bed. She then hops up on top of the bookshelf that is part of the desk and peers at me from behind a green dragon ornament holding a clear crystal ball in it's claw that sits up on top. Surprised? No, not really. She stared at me as if to say "put it all together woman" and the penny drops. There she is fully manifested as this cat which first appeared to me as this green dragon guide. Immediately the name 'JadeKat' jumped into my mind. Now this really means something to me and relates to my storytelling ability because I am working on a project which this writer's pseudonym I chose for myself awhile ago is connected to...and that project involves conveying paranormal experiences in a user friendly down-to-earth manner...once I got it, my cat sat there and blinked in that "took you long enough" manner they have, and then she stared into the clear crystal. I got it - the clarity - the knowing and the prompt from my animal guide to continue with this project and not doubt myself. That night I had further guidance in a dream from other guides wearing white robes. They told me that I had been shackled by my ego and now was the time to free myself and pursue my role as a teacher and that the way I was to teach was to tell my stories. I felt like a huge weight had lifted. The next subject I am taking at uni veers away from psychological problems and into learning development across the lifespan. Yet again, my studies seem connected with my path. It makes me smile. I don't know what to call it, but I seem to have an inbuilt ability to live this way - following signs, creating connections, receiving guidance and expanding my energy through experience. This is what I need to teach through sharing.

That is so awesome!!! I love it! It almost sounds like a story in itself. Gosh, you've actually just reminded me of a really vivid dream I had a couple of years ago. It was more like a scene from a children's TV show, but it was set at the house where I was living at the time. It was narrated by a storyteller, as though it was one of those old BBC-style kids' shows like Bagpuss or The Wind In The Willows- and it was such a short fragment, but there was a large humanistic (what's the word... anthropomorphic!) cat standing at the top of the stairs looking down from the balcony. The narrator/storyteller said something like "Once upon a time there was a magical cat named Tiswas, who lived at the top of the stairs. Leaning over the balcony, he said..." and then Tiswas had a bowl of cat food and I heard him say in a miaowy cat voice, "Want some?" ... And that was all! Such a funny dream! Something meaningful did come out of the name Tiswas, and I'm thinking right now there's something in this that I should continue to follow along with in regard to my MA thesis... But yes, cats and storytelling and magic... love it! Please post more as things develop with your guiding kitty!

That is fantastic to hear Gem and I am glad you have found something that is helpful for your thesis. It sounds like you might have been receiving guidance from a cat spirit called Tiswas. I have to say when you mentioned dreams, I recalled that since this little dragon appeared I have had lots of dreams and they are about my life and do seem like stories with messages for me. And when I get on the computer (like right now) my cat guide sits either on the desk in front of the monitor looking at me or on my lap watching the screen with me. At night my other cat sleeps in my bed with me. Both are rescued cats - the older one was dumped in a drain near my mother's house, and the dragon cat was rescued by me and my son from a pet warriors facility who got her from a vet who was going to put her down because she was dumped. Ooh - I just had an a-ha moment! Common theme: abandoned cats, of which I am one as well since childhood when I was abused and all the grown-ups turned their back on me and all throughout life I have had relationships that mirrored this. Now that I think of it, the dreams I am having all contain elements of abandonment and even leave me feeling the emotions of it when I awake.

The first night that the green dragon came to me, something almost insignificant happened that now appears to be the catalyst to all this. I was listing books to sell on ebay for two reasons - one, I needed the cash and two, I'd felt less attracted than I used to to my collection of spiritual books. One in particular I was listing is a hard to get out of print book by Australian psychic medium, Dawn Hill. It is called 'Lifting the Veil: a unique guide to Spiritual development'. When I went to list it, I had a gut reaction not to. Instead, I felt I had to read it. So I started that night.

At first it was hard to get into because it talked about the New Age movement and the history of spiritual thought so I put it aside. Shortly after on that exact night, the green dragon came to me! I persevered with the book another night and discovered it started talking about split brain research. This was an area I could relate to having studied it in uni during my degree so I suddenly took an interest, but then that interest waned and I got bored with it so I put it down again. That night, back came the dragon for it's second visit. Well you know how this develops - the cat arrived (her name is the Miz by the way - my older son named her after a wrestler which in itself is fitting because I have been wrestling with abandonment all my life!). I kept reading the book in small sections spurred on by that feeling of recognition inside that I get when I know something is right for me and then yesterday I was sitting at the computer with Miz on my knee when suddenly I realised the connection and came up with this theory that tied together my story with Dawn Hill's research on split brains and my learning of psychology. It is a pretty complex hypothesis but basically I think I have uncovered how suppressed memories can exist and control the behaviours of abuse victims and how spirituality can help heal them. Also, why depressed people are so creative! These are two areas I want to research further and that is where my research degree in psychology comes in! I think I've found a very real way to blend spirituality with psychology to bring about change to people's lives. And I have my dragon cat to thanks for her guidance in the process of discovery. This could provide people who have struggled with their spirituality a really simple solution to opening up their awareness and living a fuller life. It is a way forwards for those still carrying scars and pain from their childhoods, and an alternative view to simply paying off karmic debt through their situations or carrying out a blueprint and it fits perfectly with the evolution of this planet and the changing energies on it. I am very excited and will be sharing this project with everyone in the near future.

Goth, that is fantastic!!! I really get a sense of you having hit upon something that is absolutely THE right thing for you to do. It was a similar feeling when I finally hit upon my thesis idea last year (how I'm progressing or feeling about things right now is another story though! It's still the right thing for me, but I am having confidence issues and stress issues surrounding it). Congratulations on this wonderful realisation and all the excitement of embarking on a path that you know is right!

Now that you mentioned that my dream may have been about a spirit cat... I hadn't connected this before at all, but there WAS at least one spirit cat in that building. I heard it one night, then the girl who moved into my room after I left also heard it. I moved upstairs, and Mr Gem said that he saw a spirit cat walking around up there too. Also, it turned out that one of Mr Gem's brothers had previously lived in the building and had a pet cat there. It was killed by a neighbour and is buried by a rose bush. I think his name was something like Ritchie. Funnily enough I googled 'Tiswas' and it turned out to be the name of a children's TV show that MB appeared on in the 1970s!

As for my present animal guides, it's still pandas popping up everywhere. I recognise the message loud and clear but I'm unsure how to act on it. I'm stressing about not getting enough time to work on my thesis, but I can only stretch myself so far - and above all I'm trying to look after myself. Just daily life, trying to not neglect my loved ones, along with my part-time work, all seem to impinge on my studies and I end up frustrated and feeling like a loser for not making better progress, as well as having a growing anxiety about completing this thing on time. I was resolved to not accept any further part-time work after my 3 month contract ends (for my second job, not the record store one), but now I have this gigantic dentist bill hovering over me. I HAD to go to the dentist for my own wellbeing, and I need some dental work done over the next month or so, which will add up to a bill of over $500. It's way, WAY out of my budget stratosphere... but needs to be paid. So I'm in a double-bind, I need the time for my research but I need to earn the money to pay my bill. The PANDAS say don't overstretch myself though, and I know I need to listen.

PANDA



Gentle Strength

Since a Panda’s diet consists of 99% bamboo, the study of bamboo is very important to this totem. Bamboo has strength yet flexibility.
Its shoots are a delicacy,
bamboo discs were used for money,
bamboo symbolizes youth in China,
and herbal remedies were written on its bark
in the Han dynasty.

Both the Panda and bamboo reflect a quiet, unassuming essence – one that is modest and strong at the same time. For those with a Panda totem, it is very important not to take on more projects than you can handle. Be sure to fully develop a project before taking on a new one.
Focus is the key to all your endeavors.

source: Lin's Domain

There's money around your thesis - had you thought that it might become a book eventually? Because this is what I am sensing. I think the panda is telling you that you need to remain flexible and whatever you are doing in any given moment, that is where you need to place your full attention. So if the dental work is a priority, give your energy to achieving the finances to pay for that and then go back to the thesis. I am also seeing flashes of inspiration and sudden rushes of energy associated with your thesis and getting it done. Sometimes the time and effort we put into worrying about something could be put to better use rather than being a waste. Panda is saying be discerning in what you use your time for - do something rather than procrastinating and not getting anything done (Oh, I hear that one, panda - loud and clear!). I believe in the interconnectedness of everything so even when you go about your daily life it is enhancing your thesis in some way, whether it be to give you space to plan out what you are going to say or draw attention to areas you had not yet discovered eg the Tiswas connection. Stay open and flexible and allow it all to come to you. Don't stress about how you will get it done, be aware that you are getting it done and that you don't need to follow a set formula or set of ideals about how that will come about. Let your natural abilities and insight work for you in developing the best possible thesis you can produce. Ask MB to help - he will be glad you did! I can't think of a better consultant for your work. He might just have something he wants to say through you that brings a whole new perspective to your work.

Thanks for believing in me Gem. I too feel I am onto something important.I get those self-doubts too - they come like a fog and make whatever conviction I had to my work suddenly disappear and seem foolish. I find my thoughts degenerate into negativity and mocking myself as if to say 'get real! you can't write that! as if you could have an original idea or anything of value to say - nobody's gonna read your childish crap.' It is an ongoing battle between my left brain and my right brain to stick to my guns and get it done.

Have to add this because I am having a gut reaction to it:

The word 'tiswas' means a state of confusion or commotion, but the show's name 'officially' stood for "Today Is Saturday, Watch And Smile"



This was the logo - is it a coincidence that backwards it says Saw it with a lightning bolt between the words? (My dragon cat is all over me and the keyboard as I write this so I know there is a message in here for you).

Today is saturday - watch and smile followed by the reply 'saw it' and a lightning bolt to represent an A-ha! moment....be open Gem, someone is helping you

source: wiki

WOW! Goth, that is so incredibly insightful. You have just shed new light onto everything for me, and the Tiswas connection is pretty amazing I must say! In regards to 'saw it' - I also just saw something! The lightning bolts are like the lightning bolts that David Bowie uses in the background of his Ziggy Stardust tour - which I'm currently working on analysing. My main theme in my Bowie analysis is aliens (and androgyneity), and I'd already figured out some stuff about the lightning bolts in relation to that, 'space age' technology and electricity, as well as connecting it with Bowie's one-time (and misguided) interest in images of fascism. What also just sprang to mind is that there is also a connection with the runic symbol - sowelo (I think that's how you spell it but will have to check). It's a small detail but I am also attempting to link magickal and esoteric thought with both DB and MB. It is definitely there but I'm working on how to discuss it academically. So what you have just posted was like another little piece of inspiration feeding into this. Also, you are right, I do get flashes of inspiration unexpectedly while going about my daily life. Things I encounter do cause ideas to spring up. I recently contacted a close friend of MB, who is also a musician, and he gave me some valuable insights also. I've had the urge to meet/contact this person for over two years now, and now finally having done it I've been pleasantly surprised at how things he said opened up some new ideas for me. So you're right, right, right!

Also - yes! It has occured to me only in the past few days that I would like to turn this into a book. I believe there is a gap for it just waiting to be filled. Perhaps the money surrounding this also relates to my scholarship? Yesterday it also occured to me that if I think of what I'm doing AS A BOOK, it helps me to feel less stressed about the judgement of others such as the people who will be marking my work at the end of it, and giving it a grade. If I forget about that part of it, and think of it as MY BOOK, then it's easier for me to focus on the enjoyment of creating a good piece of work that I'm happy with - and hopefully my ideas will flow better that way, if I am less restricted by thoughts of judgement and potential failure. 'Watch and smile', in that sense, also seems like a reassurance - I've been feeling frustrated at the fact that I'm not enjoying this experience like I thought I would. So I need to find ways to relax and remove my fears about this and trust that it will all just flow. I've been asking MB to give me a hand quite a bit lately, lol. 'Consultant' is a word I had not thought of, but you're right - what a great consultant! I KNOW that he was encouraging me to do this all the way along, through visions he gave me and stuff like that - so perhaps I need to remember that and remember that he would not steer me in the wrong direction with this. I have always had an unexplainable, implicit trust in MB, so I do need to go with the flow of that.

Thank you so much! All of this will help me to relax into what I'm doing. I am quite freaked out at having to do a presentation on my work in a month or so - it won't be graded, but the fear of judgement and of not doing a good job is getting to me. I wish the whole thing would just go away! But I guess it is better to go with it than to fight it, and treat it as an opportunity to clarify some of what I've been doing, and try to get over my nerves somehow.

Gosh, I go through exactly the same thoughts as you, about no one wanting to read my crap, etc etc. But I am absolutely certain that you're onto something amazing there. The thing is to get over our negative thoughts and just flow with things... the Tiswas message is for you just as it is for me. Believe in yourself and your project!

Well perhaps I was procrastinating when I made this, but... here is a sign I just made for my office door. Feel free to print out your own copy if you like it!

This was the Totem Animal that I recieved yesterday, Sat Aug. 7th.



PELICAN
http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pictures/pelican.jpg" border="0" alt=""/>

Buoyancy
Unselfishness


Pelican people can rise to the top no matter what life throws at them;
no matter how weighed down them become with life’s trials and tribulations.
Emotional turmoil is often the weight in a Pelican person’s life.
Pelican teaches you how not to be overcome by your troubles,
but rather to rise above them.

Pelican shares nesting sites and food with others and
therefore teaches unselfishness.


Teamwork is key for a person with a Pelican totem.

GEM !! !!

I printed off a copy for myself ALL-soo

Thanks

MAGIC IN PROGRESS

I've BE-en picking UP sooo many " Gifts " of feathers in the last 2yrs ,sense I moved to this Magical Place, it started with those Emu feathers that I had never seen BE-fore, they would blow right across the street from my neighbours house, their so BE-auti-FULL, by far ONE of my Fav.'s.

So found this written piece right here while googling Pelican and got " FEATHERS ".



Animal Totems – Feather Energy
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Hawk Feather I found on my balcony
For the past two weeks or so, while out for my walk, bird feathers have unexpectedly shown up along the way. Mostly crow feathers, but over the weekend, while walking along the beach, I found two pelican feathers, beautiful plumes 14 inches long!


Pelican feathers found at beach
Whenever certain patterns repeat themselves to me that are somewhat out of the ordinary, I take notice and listen on the inside that I might feel the vibration of what is calling my attention over and over again.


Pelicans in flight over beach in Half Moon Bay
Bird energy seems to be calling to me, and recently I started to collect the feathers as they seem to fairly shout for my attention. Yesterday, I saw a blue heron, the second one within a couple months time. They are stately birds, breathtakingly beautiful!


Blue Heron in Long Beach, CA from Reef Restaurant
Dear Higher Self, why the special preponderance of feathers and special birds at this time?

The feathers are like sensitive wands that can be used to gather the finest impressions of vibrations around and within your body. Just as birds are extremely sensitive creatures, their feathers also pick up the most subtle of energies. As you hold them in your hands, they can be used to not only gather energy but to also project thoughts and intentions. The feathers are showing up as a way to show the pathways of inner flight. They come to you unbidden and unlooked for and yet arouse a sense of awe and reverence for the wonder that they represent. Like the noble Blue Heron, learn to be still and receive the vibrations of all elements of Nature.

Beauty enfolds you in Her wings of dark mystery! Receive and listen to the song of Her flight within your heart. Can you hear the crow in the distant reaches of your imagination? Listen to her now, feisty and playful; versed in the art of trickery and transformation. She is placing feathers upon your path that you might understand the mystical path of vibration and song that you walk. Listen to and experience the connection that you have with all the Earth’s elements! They convey so much to anyone who would take the time to listen. Listen not only with your ears but with all the sensitivity of your finest awareness.



You are surrounded by an aura of light and sound, like feathers dancing in dynamic interplay with the body. And the body is far larger than what the limiting thoughts believe it to be. The eyes “see” it circumscribed and limited by a certain form that you have grown accustomed to; and yet if you close the eyes and “feel” deeply within, it is easy to experience consciousness far beyond the boundaries of physical form. You are that energy, expanded through all space!

As you go for a walk, or sit at your desk, feel the energy component of your consciousness, far beyond the form of the body. How wonderful it is to feel that sense of expansion, as though you had long feathers of light touching and connecting with all Nature! No longer circumscribed by limiting thoughts, you can float with the clouds or soar with the birds through the freedom of skies, unencumbered by beliefs of limitation!

Link:
http://accessingyourhigherself.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/animal-totems-feather-energy/

This was the " Finch Feather " that I just placed on one of my Faery cards.



ONE yr later I get my bird feeder and guest watch bird shows UP first to the feeder, so may-BE the Faeries do play a part in ALL this around here. lol I k -NOW they do.

Just had to throw in a little DOVE LOVE in the mix !! !! lol

LOVEY DOVEY